Ultimate Men's Guide to Dating in 2023
162: Valentine's Day Special
Good morning everyone.
We’ve had many requests to put out a piece on our take on dating, relationships, getting laid, etc.
Initially we steered away from it given our focus is markets and global news but with Valentine’s Day tomorrow we thought we’d offer a perspective up for everyone.
One trend that I have picked up on recently is that people are struggling to date or find relationships. Whether it’s family, friends, colleagues, etc. it seems like many people are struggling to find anything meaningful or if they’re looking for something casual, failing miserably in execution - men and women.
I am sure that the Pandemic and highly politicized environment in the US has had an impact on amplifying how difficult it is to date/find someone. People disagree on politics, the vaccines, religion, and a whole other host of new items.
Another contributing factor we can’t overlook is technology. BMBL 0.00%↑ and MTCH 0.00%↑ dominate the dating markets in North America. Tinder generates the most revenue and made three times more revenue than its closest competitor, Bumble. In 2021, Tinder made $1.65 billion revenue ( Business of Apps).
Recent studies indicate men are having a historically low amount of sex.
Technology through the likes of social media and the wave of dating/hook up apps has commoditized dating like never before, automating the system, and regulating it through a weird type of digital darwinism, where the best looking people reign supreme and everyone else loses (more on that later).
Who am I to speak to this topic? I’m 30 now with a family. Before that I was a bachelor in San Francisco and New York City.
As a 6 foot 5, not horrible looking, ex athlete that had some success professionally and personally with business early in life, I did well for myself in major cities and social circles in the US.
I learned the rules of the dating game, came to understand mostly how women operate/ what they look for, and eventually, in my case, found what I personally, was looking for after years of debauchery mayhem, a stage I think every man needs to go through to become enlightened by the based gods, but more on that later.
I can offer at least some perspective on each stage - attracting and dating women, how to carry yourself, and if it’s what you’re looking for, attracting a longer term partner (lots to consider here for men).
I don’t want this to come off as some lame ass Cosmopolitan “How to find your love” article….
The goal is simply to help some people out with perspective, tips, and experiences I had. Also - we understand some guys just want to go try to bed as many women as they can, others want a wife or girlfriend, people’s goals are different so understand that.
This piece today will speak to all of that as it covers core basics that are essential to even getting started in the realm of women.
This is an outline of my personal beliefs/dogma on dating, attracting women, and what characteristics you need to be successful with women.
If you’re not great with women, you’ll learn a lot today.
But with that being said……
I think even the most accomplished playboys that follow Arb Letter won’t disagree on what I share, they may even learn a thing or two.
We’ll cover how to attract women, become the best single version of yourself, and how to eventually situate yourself to select a mate if that’s what you want.
These tips/pointers work.
They’re rooted in efficiency and biology and require you to swallow some painful truths in order to really understand what attraction and dating are all about.
Most articles/resources/commentary on this topic are littered with inaccuracies, cope, and/or misunderstandings of how this all works. Part of it is denial, as the truth is pretty tough to swallow initially, especially for men, who have to actually work quite hard in life to be able to have the access they want to the sexual marketplace. Again, this is biology.
By the end of this article you’ll have a greater appreciation for how savage and divine women’s selection systems are, as that understanding and appreciation is the lynch pin to this entire methodology/framework.
Don’t get mad, get better.
This will be our only Arb Letter piece on dating/attracting women but we were willing to work on it and put it out given the abundance of folks asking focus to touch on it.
This isn’t theory or speculation — it’s the cold hard truth.
The basics
For most men - dating, hanging out with, sleeping with, and attracting beautiful women is a hallmark of existence.
But it isn’t as simple as just being incredibly good looking like Zoolander. There are many tangibles and intangible aspects to this topic.
Unlike many areas in life now littered with participation trophies, woke labels to make people feel better, and a constant war on the feminine and masculine in the USA, attraction and dating is a very straightforward concept for the most part.
The things women are attracted to haven’t changed in a long long time.
