Dealing with people in 2022
100: Andy's tips for social success
When someone says they are a people person - what comes to mind?
Cheesedick LinkedIn serial motivational quote networkers?
A successful and good looking person?
Someone that makes other people feel good and laugh?
The hardo VP of Sales at your company that dominates everyone?
Many people claim to be a people person, brimming with social grace, making others like them effortlessly, the life of the party, able to speak with a variety of people from all kinds of backgrounds, but very few actually possess the skillset to navigate all sorts of encounters with fellow humans while remaining clam, in control, and independant of the outcome.
My basic philosophy when it comes to people is do no wrong, make basic efforts to be polite and courteous, but ultimately I match their energy, and if needed, escalate into other tactics for dealing with them should they continue to be difficult.
Not everyone you meet is going to be a great happy person, but most of you already knew that.
We’ll touch more on this matching energy aspect later.
We’ll cover the following aspects and tips for how I deal with people. I have included the second section because I believe in order to truly deal effectively with people you need a firm grasp on both jealously and insecurity.
Basic nature of people and general pointers
Jealousy and Insecurity (How to identify both)
Self Awareness
These are skillsets, drawbacks, and tips picked up through roughly 10 years of professional life, so while senior folks might have a leg up on me in the tenure department I feel I have had good exposure to corporate politics, working with different clients and books of business, as well as enough life events through dating, interviews, discussions etc. to offer you some helpful pointers.
Keep in mind this is simply my diagnosis on how I like to go about dealing with people with a sales and trading, tech sales, finance twist to it.
I like to think most people are decent, but also recognize a majority of people have no drive, self reflection, or self awareness, which makes them candidates to be huge ass hats in life driven by their emotions (more below).
The goal of this post is sharpen your people skills and go over some of the basics outlined in popular literature on the topic as well as the aspects I feel are strongly correlated with success in dealing with people.
I cover tidbits and pieces that I feel particularly strong about from:
48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
How to Listen with Intention - Patrick King
I’ve also noticed a regression of sorts in people in public, that is to say, I’ve noticed them casting aside many of the historical and basic human considerations (being polite, decency, etc.) which makes it incredibly important for you to adapt to the way people are changing and acting.
Perhaps this a result of the Covid 19 Pandemic, Work from Home and the digital world we live in now?
In any case, it is still vital for you to learn how to read, navigate, and effectively deal with people. This post will help you keep tabs on that boss you have that may be jealous of your quality of work and reputation internally at your firm.
It will help you think about how to broach controversial topics in these wild times in social circles. It will help you think about how to speak with your next client or romantic interest, and ultimately my hope is that it will leave you feeling energized to deal with people for the rest of the week.
When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly. They are like this because they cannot tell good from evil.
-Marcus Aurelius 121 A.D. – 180 A.D.